Don’t Ever Get A Cat

Whatever happens, don’t ever get a cat.

Approximately a year ago, I started feeding stray cats in our backyard. My Boss has a cat named Missy and she gave me cat food (which Missy didn’t like) to feed the stray. There were several cats, there’s this fluffy cat we call Asshole because he was such an asshole, bullying all the stray. There’s Charcoal, so cute. There’s Stubbs with a short tail and there’s Ming. She was aloof and guarded and very bitchy. The Hubsy thinks she’s like me.

Out of all the strays we fed, Ming was the only cat who literally made her way to our 2nd floor apartment one very cold day. She sneaked in the basement and looked for us, literally knocked on our door. I had a knife in my hand when I opened the door thinking it was a burglar. Yes, I am paranoid.

The Hubsy approved for her to stay that very cold night and the rest, cliche as it may sound, is history.

A year passed and I can absolutely attest that you should never get a cat.

Cats can be dismissive.

If you’re looking for a pet who’s clingy and needs you all the time, cats are NOT for you. They have their own pace. They do not care about how slow or fast you are. They do not care. Period.

Cats are vicious

Do not mess with cats, especially when they are sleeping. Or not in the mood to play. They will bite you. Or scratch you. They win on every staring contest.

Cats are distant and aloof. They will only come to you if they need you. To them, you are their slaves. Someone to clean their poops and bring them food. You have to be available on every whim.

So never ever get a cat.

Go get a dog and be adored for life, get a parrot and be mimicked, get a fish I heard it’s therapeutic.

But don’t ever get a Cat.

Because however vicious they are, when they look at you, you just melt. They know they got you by the palm of their paws but you won’t mind because you are now brainwashed to provide them with a good life.

Because you learn that life is not so bad at all. And we share the same love for sleeping.

Because they teach you how to be chill. Unapologetically.

Because they let you cuddle with them for awhile. And that should be enough.

Because they are perfection in ever way.

Because they bring you joy just by knowing they are happy. Which for me is the biggest gift Ming gave us. The ability to know that we are all capable to love someone else other than ourselves.

So don’t you ever get a Cat. Because once you get one, you will forever be hooked.

Thank you Ming for coming into our lives. You changed us. You made us become better people. We are honored by your presence. Thank you for choosing us.